Love became meanin'less

Love has gone from the most expect to the thing or aspect of my life I fear the most.

I'm dedicated for making this blog, along with all the subjects I'd like to talk about, a process of healing of my own heart.

So, to all the guys out there, thank you so much for making it worth when it's good, but you should seriously consider how to deal with your breakups, not just me, but everyone I know has been hurt by means that could have been overcame. Honesty is indeed the best policy. What's the point of saying that you want to give it a shot, when you actually just want to forget the other's existence? But, you know what? The person you hurt is real, and is in pain because of your lack of communication about what you really, really want.

I am that kind of girl that, although faaaar awaaay from perfection, when it comes to behaviour and resolving situations, I don't let anything pendent. It doesn't work out for neither of the parts...does it?

What makes me mad about this so called blog is how depressive I sound. I am not like this, at all, except for myself, every now and then. Like I said before, I'm gonna get back on my feet.

Love,
Mariana <3

Less Life, less Love, more Lisbon

I am not  in the mood for touchy writing today.

In order not to get psico and wander around my house like a crazy person, doing absolutely nothing except crying and thinking about how miserable I felt, I decided to get out of my house and have a sleepover at a friend's house. God, it was good to me. Have you ever felt like you couldn't sleep? Almost afraid to get in your bed because you already know that you'll get insomnia? I have been feeling like that from a couple of weeks back to now.

So, I walked to the station, picked up the train, and went to my friend's house.
I met lots of people, watched a couple of movies, went to see the city at night and was able to sleep. A lot!  And then, in the other day, we went to the beach and later to a park, a very beautiful, romantic one... I started getting all nostalgic and it was about time to get home...so I picked my thinks up at her place and got to the train once again.

Came home to my room mate, we cooked, chatted and watched tv. Later, when I got to bed, I just knew that it would be hard, but with some effort and happy thoughts, I could finally sleep.

Everything will come to it's place eventually. I don't feel ready to be alone, but if I have to, I'll find my strength. It goes against my nature to give up from hard situations.
So now, all my strength has to be focused to my Media History test tomorrow. Oh God...

I hope everybody's life is going accord to their plans and, if not, better than that.

Love,
Mariana <3

Life, Lisbon, but not love

Yesterday was a good day. House had just been cleaned, a clearer mind, and even a dinner with friends. But when people are people, sometimes it's hard to deal with their feelings without hurting a person. Yesterday night ended not as well as the day itself.
Yesterday I hurt someone. Today, I was hurt.

My interests seem to be decreasing and it comes a point when you need to know when you should stop doing what you want, and you just do what you need. Because "want" and "need" are two, very different concepts.

So, my luck hasn't been pushing very hard to be successful, but I'm trying to reverse my future, as I always preached for unhappy people to do. I'm not unhappy, I'm less happy than I was before... That should change soon.

Hoping to bring better subjects to the table, I retreat now...

Love,
Mariana <3

Life, Lisbon, Love... beginning

This blog was created so that I would find a place, other than a paper journal - which I have no patience to update - where I could, firstly, escape from my daily tasks, obligations and promises, secondly for me to share my passions other than music. They include make-up, clothing and fashion, photography, reading, loving, eating and food confection in general, holidays, studying and learning more about people.

So, at least in it's first days..weeks or months I will remain anonymous (no pictures of myself and no other information other than that my name is Mariana).

So, welcome to the on-line journal of my life, from now on. Since I moved to another city, this is my story :)

I lived with my parents and little sister, who I love and sometimes miss. Now, I found a little apartment which I share with a girl friend of mine, and we live in peace.
I've been an Arts student since my 10th grade, so this new classes I'm taking, which include Law, Economics, Media's History, among others, put me a little out of my comfort zone...But no problem, I'm trying to face it as a challenge. But being so far away from the areas that I love so much have some consequences and that's the hole purpose of this blog.

Hoping that I can clear my mind by writing here, I leave you now.

I'm dinning alone tonight.

New posts soon *

Love,
Mariana <3